Building The Wall

By Lillian Grajeda, March, 2017

To Whom it May Concern,

I rather think of myself as a master in masonry. I have been erecting walls (and other dividers) as far back as I can remember. My expertise knows no boundaries. I am well versed in any size, shape, or dimension. I am so skilled at this particular task, I can likewise give you respective alternatives for the edifice you seek. My favored selection: a facade (more on that to come).

Below is the optimal template for your benevolent divider. Preparatory to start, please consider the fact that there are a plethora of walls already in existence; is yet another divider really necessary?


First we begin with Avidya (Ignorance, lack of spiritual knowledge). Not knowing yourself or your true identity is a very solid foundation for a strong structure. This ignorance will aid in the building of fabrications (for your facade. You will form many ideas about what you are or should be). People will yield great influence over you and help you form these thoughts and patterns. Time will solidify their imprint.

First layer

Asmita (ego, pride) will limit your consciousness and solidify your separateness from the world. As with all separateness conflict will arise. I suggest placing a mirror on the inside of the wall so you can focus on yourself. What better focal point than me, myself, and I (and others like me). In our state of Asmita, there will be a drive to please ourselves.

Second layer

Raga (attachment to pleasure) will follow. When we allow ourselves to be completely immersed in pleasure and the pursuit of it, we will do anything to keep out pain. We begin grasping for the things we desire.

Third layer

Dvesha (hate, dislike, enmity) comes next. Guarding our utopia will become of top priority—and anyone or anything that stands in our way will stimulate hate and more separation. Jealousy and intolerance will become close allies. Finally, we will encase our wall with Abhinevesha (fear of death, clinging to life). We will soon be convinced of the importance of these pleasures. We may even believe these to be the meaning of our existence, the reason we are here. We become fearful without our money, jobs, children, Things—we cease to exist. We believe this body, this actuality, is all there is. So we resist the end. Fear is the ultimate divider and creator of illusions. When used in concentrated forms one can actually control others to achieve their personal agendas.

Warning: The wall is limiting. The illusion of the wall will not last forever. This wall is a fabrication. Even as a master of construction, with all my years of expertise, I have yet to build a wall that keeps out the undesirables: pain, loss, disappointment—they still find their way inside. In my experience it is a futile effort. Perhaps learning to navigate life and all that it encompasses is a better solution. As you remove one brick (thought, habit) at a time without attachment, the impression begins to wane. I can tell you the process will leave you exhausted (at first) but some how hopeful—and seeking more. As light begins to trickle in, you realize the darkness cannot remain. You will begin to recognize yourself in the eyes of others. You will see similarities and sameness in lieu of differences. Love and steadiness will dismantle the wall.

We alone are the masons of our own lives. We are given a blueprint at birth, and it is our responsibility to sift through it. We all breathe, we all love, we all die. We all come from the same place. I am no expert here, but perhaps we return to it too.

Lillian Grajeda

After living most of her life in the past (and future), Lillian has become obsessed with the present moment. She deems her principle preceptor that guiding voice within. This has lead her to study well over a thousand hours with her yoga teachers Rodney Yee and Colleen Saidman Yee. Lillian believes creating space is the secret to the now. By creating space we allow a place for the present moment to reside. After studying with detox master Natalia Rose, she combined her daily yoga practice and detox knowledge to create even more space from the inside out. Living with 4 (of her six) children and her perfect mate also helps her remain present.

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